Life’s a challenge

“I’m tired”,that’s all I fuckin seem to say now, yawning so much me mates have nicknamed me bag puss the cat!! If any of you have watched the Simpsons I’m like grandpa Simpson who can literally fall asleep mid conversation. MND has a fatigue factor because the less muscle you have the less strength you have and the less strength you have the less energy you have and so on, it’s not fuckin rocket science is it?? Physically I’m getting weaker but mentally I’m ok , I’m in a routine were I know what MND is thinking, I know that might sound a bit strange but i feel that I know this disease inside out now. I know how it works but that’s not to say it still doesn’t throw a few curve balls at me from time to time! If I go on a walk I know I’ll have to chill out for the next day, if I have a busy day I know I’ll have to chill afterwards, it’s about managing and respecting what MND is, to me MND is a challenge that life has threw at me and I’ve always loved a challenge, when I used to play footy I always wanted to mark the biggest and strongest player at corners or free kicks, simply because I loved a challenge and if that player scored then fair play to him but I’d guarantee he wouldn’t beat me next time.

MND is a challenge for me that unfortunately is one that I can’t train for in the gym or prepare for on the training ground. I know what’s coming with MND,it’s my whole mindset now, were everything revolves around this fuckin disease. Life with MND is one fuckin big battle and I don’t just mean the disease itself, I mean other aspects that go with it, everything magnifies with MND, you might plan to do something but wake up feeling like you’ve been run over by a bus and your whole days fucked because you feel like David Moyes’ therapist! (Sorry utd fans) the kids might ask me of a morning “Dad,can you pick us up from school?” I agree but come 3pm I’m throwing zzz’s out on the couch!! My legs are getting so skinny that when I walk in the room with my shorts on the dog starts licking her lips at them!
My mouth and tongue have seen better days and I’m starting to wake up more with headaches which isn’t a good sign because that generally means my brain is getting less oxygen while I’m asleep, but other than that I feel great!!! (Can’t wait for the marathon) I’m not moaning about it just trying to explain what MND does, it’s a killer without a cure and that is the brutal truth about MND.

There are some fantastic people out there working and volunteering their bollocks off for the cause, but sometimes the politics and red tape that go with charities aren’t for me, I can’t be arsed with the bullshit and trying to be nice to people because they deem themselves to be important (MP’s etc), whenever I’ve been asked to talk about living with MND I’ve always been myself, I think that’s a big reason why they go so well, If people laugh and cry in the same measure then that’s job done for me. I remember meeting an MP not long ago at one of the places I was doing a talk and I think I was expected to act like I was in awe of this person by his PA, needless to say he walked away disappointed!! No one person is more important than the next, you might hold a higher job or earn more money but that doesn’t mean you have to act like a prick now does it?
I’d never get invited to Downing Street to talk about MND because of fears of what I might actually say to all the fake people down there. I don’t do fake people at all and sometimes I’ve kidded myself with MND doing things and accepting things for the cause that I mightn’t have done before MND and recently getting my fingers burned for trying to do the right thing for others with MND only to get caught out with the politics and bullshit that go with it (never again).

Life in general is a challenge but it’s how you deal with the challenge that shows the true you.

Thanks for your constant support and just incase you forgot I’m attempting my third marathon with MND in April. Please share our just giving link and help in the fight to find a cure for this disease.

Keep smiling and keep on challenging yourself , you never know what you might achieve!!!

To be continued

Mark

http://www.justgiving.com/Mark-Maddox1?utm_source=emailvision&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=fundraisingpage-donation-alert-email