Posted by: mads04 | February 25, 2013

Im Spartacus Keep fighting

As soon as I was told I had MND I decided to take my family to Disneyland so I booked Los Angeles for two weeks at the end of February 2011.I would also be over there for my birthday which was a bonus as I figured I might get a birthday kiss off Minnie Mouse!! We gave the kids a christmas card each on Christmas day which told them they were going to Disneyland and to see their faces light up is what every parent dreams of,Theirs nothing better than seeing your kids happy.LA is an unbelievable place and is a holiday of a lifetime for a scally from Liverpool,I dreamt of going to LA as a kid, I know that sounds a bit corny but its true, the place has always fascinated me because it’s the land of the movies and anyone who knows me knows I love me films! The closest I got to LA as a kid was New Brighton or Wales. Growing up in Liverpool in the 80’s you either went to a caravan in Talaca or Rhyl and your Mum and Dad tried to convince you it was paradise! well if in paradise they sit in a caravan all day playing shit board games like guess who and connect 4 because it rained 24/7 and the whole gaff stinks of cow shit then it certainly was but im beginning to think me mum and dad told a few porkies to us when we were kids!! Every other Sunday they would take you on the bus to the Pier head in town get the ferry across the Mersey and boom you were in New Brighton and that was our Jollys every year apart from the one time we went to the South of France camping in 1984.(the less said about that the better!!)

Since diagnosis I have been to many different parts of the world.Ive been to Los Angeles,Florida with my family and Dubai and Hong Kong with my brother and sister and are all brilliant places to go. Florida is great for the kids loads to do although its very hot and very humid(a bit like me dads farts).Dubai is brand new and everything is big,bright and shiny(a bit like me dads nose) and Hong Kong is more historical and adventurous (a bit like me Dads war stories). I also went to Poland to visit Auschwitz. I went on me own and me mates all thought i was mad, but I’d always said to me dad I would take him one day and when he became too ill to go I decided to go for the both of us. Standing in the death camps of Auschwitz and Birkenau is a very humbling experience and makes you thankful for what you have in life.
I have experienced many a calamity on holiday aswell, none more so than when we went to Rome to see the Pope do a public blessing(Ay listen I need all the help I can get).Rome is a fantastic city full of history and obviously it’s where the big feller lives. A day before i was due to go to Rome I started getting the Brad Pitts(Shits,diarrhea) Blame MND! And one of the more embarrassing features of MND is that I can’t wipe me arse properly.My arms cramp up and I used to have to get a shower straight after a Brad Pitt, Which is fine when you’re at home but when you’re getting a blessing off the gaffer in the middle of the Vatican it could be seen as a problem! thankfully I never had a problem whilst in the Vatican city(Amen to that). No I had my problem in the Coliseum,the place where the bravest of fighters have fought, the place were you had a scrap with a few lions and the battles were the toughest in the world, well let me tell you I had a proper battle in the toilet of the Coliseum.This is a place were Kirk Douglas and Russell Crowe have fought battles but even they would have been scared of me in the toilet that day. As i was walking around this ancient battleground thinking I was a Gladiator and pretending to have a sword fight with the invisible man I was caught short by a fart and I ran into the toilet(portacabin) like I was getting chased by one of Caesars lions and as i sat me bum on the loo I clinched me teeth and started saying “I’m Spartacus I’m Spartacus” to myself in the hope that a gladiator spirit might help my predicament. Because I couldn’t wipe me arse properly I had a problem, now I couldn’t exactly carry on me tour of duty because me bum was in bits so I had to go back to the hotel which was over a mile away walking like an Orangutan with an arse like a Japanese flag and constantly telling myself “Im Spartacus Im Spartacus”.

Im Spartacus
Anyone who is fighting a terminal illness in my eyes is most definitely a gladiator. We all have our own individual battles ahead of us and we all have to fight for what we get(Especially with this fuckin government) so I’d like to dedicate this blog to everyone involved in that fight and I take my hat off to you…
Keep fighting
To be continued…..
Mark
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Responses

  1. Hi Mads

    You done it again you swine. First I get summat in me eye and can’t stop the bugger watering and then you have me howling with laughter.

    Brave and Inspirational are just inadequate words – I’ll try to think of some others

    Keep Fighting

    Phil

  2. Haha…….. nothing worse than the brad pits mate.. boss read again , keep them coming #legend

  3. Hello mate read your blogs and i can only think what its like i am like you my kids and family are my world your an inspiration too us all , its because off you and the other lads when i came to Alty and managed the reserves i grew too love scousers a special breed haha . Had a lump in my throat reading your blogs and a massive smile too that humour off yours makes you the man you are a VERY SPECIAL one keep fighting pal thoughts are with you and family cant wait for the next read .

  4. Love it. Makes me think about some holidays I need, keep the smiles coming

  5. Superb Mark, really enjoying all your blogs. Your a fighter indeed. True inspiration xxx

  6. Another fantastic read mate, the picture at the bottom with your hands in the air says it all m8, a winner and a fighter. X

  7. Your story has truly inspired me mate if we can help PLZ let me know – posters, leaflets etc. we haven’t got any money but I’m sure some of our lads would love to do some fundraising

  8. Quality read again Mads, referriing to the pope as the big fella is different class!


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